A is for…About, Already
Okay Doctor is a blog about helping Medics to live, long and prosper.
Yes, like the Vulcan greeting on Star Trek, but with an added comma.
That tiny comma could seem insignificant and an exercise in semantics.
Just like your desire for happiness, freedom and fulfilment in the face of sick patients, the dreams of your parents and the needs of society.
How dare you be so selfish and ungrateful? Think of all the sacrifices made to get you where you are?
But that tiny comma is important because it changes the meaning of the sentence.
It changes it from “live long and prosper”…to “live, long and prosper”.
It inserts a pause, a beat, a moment to breathe in and consider what matters to you…because you matters.
Live, long and prosper.
Live, as in “not die”. But more than that, “Live” as in feel fully alive and live the life you’ve always imagined.
Long, as in ask the question “what if?” . Dream out loud. Try out things that might not work. Push the boundaries of what’s possible, simply because you can. Invent something that makes the status quo completely redundant.
Prosper, as in to have the financial, mental and emotional leverage to impact the world. Play big and live large without guilt, shame or apology. Let your light shine so brightly that the world has to wear shades just to look at you. Be fully you. Prosper.
That’s what Okay Doctor is about.
But it’s also about another word.
Already.
The truths you already know at a primal level.
The answers that you already know to the questions you don’t dare to voice.
The steps you already know you need to take.
Okay Doctor isn’t about anything new or an attempt to convince you or change your mind.
It’s about the “alreadys” in your life.
So for those who find the content of this blog bizarre, offensive, unnecessary or silly…this blog isn’t written for them.
For the rest of us, Okay Doctor was built for you, around the things you already know.
Things like 3 simple words:
Live, long and prosper.
B is for…Bernie Madoff
On December 11th, 2008, a 70-year old man was arrested for running the largest private Ponzi scheme in history.
His name was Bernie. Bernard L Madoff. Husband, Father, graduate of Hofstra University with a BA in Political Science, and former non-executive Chairman of the NASDAQ stock exchange.
Bernie started a penny brokerage firm in 1960 using his earnings from working as a lifeguard and sprinkler installer, as well as using money borrowed from family and friends.
Over the next 48 years, Bernie grew this small investment firm into “one of the top market maker businesses on Wall Street”.
But the day he was arrested, almost 5,000 intelligent and trusting Clients discovered that dear old Bernie had defrauded them to the tune of $64.8 billion dollars.
Here’s a detailed video summing up the story (44min 56sec)
And here’s a short video (about 3min or so) of one of Bernie’s victims speaking out about losing all the money she’d saved since she was 16 years old.
Smart, well-meaning people fooled by an intelligent con man.
That’s sadly the case when it comes to Medicine.
Many of us were “sold” on investing time, money, hopes and dreams into pursuing a career as a Doctor…as a Medic.
They told us how wonderful and fulfilling it would be. They told us how we’d be making a difference. They told us about the freedom and autonomy we’d have to “do whatever we wanted”.
They lied.
Or maybe, they were simply the victims of an elaborate, multi-generational 48 year old Ponzi scheme designed to get you into a career in Medicine.
Whatever the origin, the painful fact remains.
You were conned.
This is not what you signed up for.
You were conned. We all were.
It’s not your fault…but it is your responsibility to admit that you were conned, and do something about it.
C is for…Choices
One of my favourite movies of all time is The Shawshank Redemption.
And the theme of the movie is summed up in one line that you can see here:
Get busy living or get busy dying.
Here’s something that they don’t want you to realise:
You have way more choices and options than you realise.
Way more.
And suicide doesn’t have to be one of them.
As beat down, burnt out, frustrated, overwhelmed, guilty, lonely and depressed as you feel…your choices are more than what your emotions are presenting to you.
You have choices and options that you haven’t even considered.
And you are now connected to a Community of Medics who feel and have felt exactly the same as you…but are deciding to make some choices beyond the status quo.
You’ve got way more choices than you realise.
And this blog is dedicated to helping you make the ones that help you live, long and prosper.
D is for…Dreams
10 questions to give you an excuse to dream out loud.
1) If I had all the money I needed I would…
2)Things I love to do…
3)If I knew there was no chance of failure, I would…
4)I would love to learn more about…
5)The person I envy (and why) is…
6)I do my best work when…
7)The accomplishments I am most proud of are…
8)As a child I loved to…
9)My day is not complete unless I…
10)I tend to lose track of time when I…
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” —C.S. Lewis
Image: @hughcards
E is for…Escape velocity
Quick Physics recap.
Escape velocity is the lowest velocity which a body must have in order to escape the gravitational attraction of a particular planet or object.
Oh, and velocity isn’t the same thing as speed.
Velocity is the measure of how fast something moves in a particular direction.
Speed AND direction.
You might be moving in the right direction – i.e. towards the ideal life that currently only lives in your dreams and visions – but…maybe you’re not moving fast enough.
And maybe you’re moving fast enough, “hustling” and busting a gut to change things…but you’re not moving in any particular direction.
You’re spinning in circles.
You’re running around like a headless chicken.
You’ve not dared own what you want because of conscious fear that it might not work…as well as subconscious fear of what will happen when it does work.
Who will you be if you let go of familiar frustrations in order to embrace unfamiliar freedoms?
Speed and direction.
You need both.
You need to achieve Escape velocity in order to escape the gravitational pull of everything around you that’s holding you down.
F is for…Free Radicals
Nii Darko is a Free Radical.
So is Pamela Wible, Ken Yeong, Abeyna Bubbers-Jones, Peter Diamandis and thousands of others.
They are “molecular species capable of independent existence that contain an unpaired electron in their outer orbital”.
They are Medics who have chosen to live life on their own terms, much to the chagrin of the Medical Establishments.
They are a danger to the status quo.
They are a threat to “the way we do things around here”.
They are also…the future. The new normal.
They are free radicals.
G is for…Gifts and generosity
You are gifted.
You have exceptional talent and natural ability that you didn’t earn or strive to get.
These are your gifts.
They are, to quote Steve Harvey, “the things you do absolute best with the least amount of effort”.
You are gifted.
You have something to offer that is of tremendous value.
Your life and value is far bigger than the small clinical box you’ve been backed into.
You are gifted and you are a person of tremendous value.
You need to believe this and own it, because your gift will make room for you.
Your gift will open doors for you.
Your gift will bring you before people of power, influence and connection.
Your gift will cause you to be paid a lot of money to do something that is so easy for you that it feels like cheating.
(N.B what comes so easily and obviously to you is extremely difficult and non-obvious to those who want to pay you to use your gift).
You are gifted.
And because you gifted, because you have something you can “do the absolute best with the least amount of effort”…here’s what you need to do.
Share your gifts with others.
Write a story, bake a cake, compete in the 100m, sing a song, draw a picture, teach a skill, take a picture…and share what you’ve done with others.
Expose your gift to the world.
Give it generously and lavishly.
Do it without being asked.
Do it even without being paid.
Do it when you’re praised for it.
Do it even more when you’re criticised for it.
Share your gift with tremendous generosity…putting your whole self into the sharing.
You were given your gift in order to share it with others.
And as you do that, your gift will make room for you…bringing you out of the tight place you find yourself stuck in.
You are gifted.
You have something you do “the absolute best with the least amount of effort”.
Now all you need to do, is dare to share your gift.
H is for…Help
Help.
Make it easier or possible for someone to do something by sharing your gift with them.
Use your gift to help someone solve a problem.
We were taught to use their training and protocols to help solve problems in a clinical setting.
We were trained to be replaceable cogs in an industrial age healthcare factory, following instructions to help keep the conveyor belt moving.
But now we get to take our desire for helping people…and combine it with our gifts.
We get to use the things that we “do the absolute best with the least amount of effort” to help someone else.
The people you can help with your gift will find you as you share your gift far and wide.
You’ll recognize them by how gratefully they receive you and your gift.
And when they show up, let them help you keep helping them.
Let them pay you to stay focused on sharing your gift.
Let them tell you how you can serve your gift to them even better.
Let them help you help them.
I is for…Immigrant parents
“Immigrants, we get the job done.” – The Hamilton Mixtape
Our parents are immigrants.
They were the crazy ones who broke with tradition and defied the odds to survive, and create a life that was absolutely impossible.
They were the outsiders who spotted the gaps in oppressive system and exploited them to keep their dreams and families alive.
They sacrificed, they went without, they endured oppressive regimes and escaped the prison of the status quo to give us the freedoms that they had been denied.
And all they asked of us in return, was to simply make them proud and do what they said.
Because they love us.
Because they know what’s best for us.
Because they are the ones who sacrificed and suffered to give us the opportunity to have a better life.
The least we can do is live up to or exceed their expectations for us…not waste the opportunities that they sacrificed to give us.
The least we can do is be rich, genius Doctors.
That’s the immigrant storyline we inherited.
That’s the invisible mantle we carry around with us every day.
And that is our secret weapon when it comes to daring to live, long and prosper.
Our parents were immigrants…and so are we.
We are the crazy ones, breaking with the Medical tradition, defying the odds to survive and live an impossible life.
We are the outsiders who see the gaps in the system and dare to exploit them to keep our dreams and families alive.
We sacrifice, we go without, we master our schedule and engage in the emotional labour of possessing the freedom that our parents fought for us to have, and now fear for us to walk in.
We are immigrants…and we get the job done.
J is for…Joie de vivre
Joie de vivre.
French for:
A cheerful, exuberant enjoyment of life.
That’s what we’re going for.
Joie de vivre.
Refuse to settle for anything less.
K is for…Kindness
Be kind to yourself.
Be “friendly, generous and considerate” to yourself.
Forgive yourself.
Encourage yourself.
Give yourself the benefit of the doubt.
Harshness isn’t a sign of strength.
And kindness is not a sign of weakness.
L is for…Labels
You are a “who” not a “what”.
You are a person, not a package.
You are a complex, highly nuanced human being, not a job description or a bizarre sequence of letters and numbers.
FY1, F2, CT1, ST3-ST9, PRHO, SpR, Post-CCT, Resident, Fellow, Attending, FRCOG, MBChB…
We accept the labels because they are part of fitting in, part of the secret handshake of insiders, and a way to save time in finding the “what” that is able to deal with the patient, problem or situation.
But the terrible side effect of identifying and being identified by a label, is that “who” you are as a person is no longer important or relevant to the work you’re doing.
Your humanity is covered and covertly stripped away behind the white coats, surgical scrubs and letters and numbers.
You have been elevated onto a podium that distances you from your right to be a human being.
And once you have been classified as “other” than human, then you are easy to control and manipulate with the public’s full cooperation.
You are an esteemed form of Untermensch.
This is not an accident. This has been done to you strategically over the course of decades.
And it all starts or ends with whether or not you will choose to identify yourself with the labels you have worked so hard to accrue.
You are a “who” not a “what”.
And the specific content of who you are is more important and more relevant than the labels that have been stuck to you.
M is for…Medic
We have a word for somebody who goes to Medical school, becomes a Doctor, and then goes on to establish a career as a specialist.
In fact, we have lots of words for each stage of this journey.
Pre-med, Undergraduate, Post-graduate, Intern, Resident, SHO, FY1, Registrar, Consultant, Professor…
But what if you choose to follow a non-traditional Medicine-related path?
What if you choose not to practise Cynical Clinical Medicine?
If you dare to do anything than the “normal path”, then Medicine has no words for you.
Actually, that’s not true. Medicine has plenty of words for you.
Words like:
Shame…
What a waste…
Failure…
Drop-out…
Weak…
Uncommitted…
Had such potential…
But the truth of the matter is that there are many ways to play the game of Medicine (yes, it’s a game)…more ways than the gatekeepers would have you believe.
There are many different experiences and expressions of Medicine that have nothing to do with working in a hospital or even having a medical degree.
There are Medics who have dropped out of Medical School completely in order to practice helping people in other arenas. (Explorers)
There are Medics who leave Medicine without a degree because of an adverse reaction to their specific learning and working environment. (Houdinis)
There are Medics who have completed their degrees and leveraged the current prestige and esteem of their title to open doors in Hollywood, Silicon Valley and government. (Docpreneurs)
There are Medics who go to school to make their parents happy and fulfil their family obligation. (Obligates)
These aren’t necessarily the best names, and this isn’t a comprehensive list of all the different permutations in Medicine.
But one name that I hope we can embrace, regardless of our specific Medical journey, is this:
Medic.
And the definition for Medic is one that I’ve stolen borrowed and remixed from Seth Godin’s important book Linchpin.
Medic – an individual who can walk into chaos and create order, someone who can invent, connect, create, heal and make things happen.”
Whether you graduated from Medical school or not, you’re a Medic.
If you grew up under the expectations of family and friends who always wanted you to be a Doctor, you’re a Medic.
Whether you’ve been labelled a Doctor, Nurse, Dentist, Lab technician, Hospital janitor, records administrator…
You are a Medic,
an individual who can walk into chaos and create order, someone who can invent, connect, create, heal and make things happen.”
You are a Medic, a linchpin, a vital member of our community with gifts and ideas that the world needs to experience.
No matter what your experience, and regardless of how much shame and guilt has been heaped on you…you are part of a family of Medics.
We love you and believe in you.
Welcome to the family…now go and be a Medic.
N is for…Numbers
Life is a numbers game, a game seen particularly clearly through the lens of Medicine.
It’s a numbers game where you get to keep playing as long as your numbers are correct and in alignment.
For example:
39.5 degrees Celsius, 90 beats per minute, 23 breaths per minute, 130/90 mmHg
These numbers immediately tell a story.
And if you understand what they mean, help you know what you need to do right now, tomorrow, next week and next month in response to them.
But whilst most Medics will immediately sense the significance of those numbers, the same will be clueless and unaware of the story being told by the other numbers in their life…specifically in the areas of time and money.
And the key question to ask in every area of life is this:
Please can you walk me through the numbers on this?
As a kid, one of the things my Dad would tell me and my siblings was a variation of this statement:
Go to school, become a Doctor, and then you can spend your time and money doing whatever you want.
It sounded plausible at the time.
But had I asked to be walked through the numbers on how that would work out, we would have uncovered huge red flags such as:
168 hours in a week MINUS 90 hours/week of working as a Doctor = 78 hours per week to do everything else.
78 hours per week DIVIDED by 7 days = 11 hours and 8 minutes per day.
Round it down to 11 hours.
11 hours per day MINUS 7 hours of sleep per day (recommended by WHO) = 4 hours per day
4 hours per day to:
-
Do chores
-
Build relationships and spend time with family
-
Relax
-
Travel to and from work
-
Do hospital paperwork
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Study for continuing exams to advance your career as a Doctor
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Spend time on your hobbies
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Pursue your dreams as a writer and musician
4 hours.
4 hours which are not necessarily evenly distributed.
So that 4 hours on paper becomes 2 hours in practice.
Pursuing a career in Medicine will leave you 2 hours per day to do the things you really love…if you can find the energy to pursue them.
And that’s just looking at the time side of things.
This isn’t looking at issues like stress, mental health, friction in relationships etc.
And on the money front, check out this infographic about the Deceptive salary of Doctors:
Source: BestMedicalDegrees.com
Life is a numbers game.
To win the game you need to know your numbers in every area.
Know what they are right now, and know what they need to be.
Can you walk me through the numbers of your life right now?
O is for…Origin story
I was frustrated, burnt out, trapped in a career in Medicine that I never wanted to be in…and that was when I made a decision that changed the rest of my life.
Instead of being frustrated by your life so far, or feeling powerless in your current situation…imagine that everything you’ve been through up until now is the Origin story for the life you’re about to step into.
Imagine that every mistake, wrong turn, wrong decision and “accident” is actually the perfect preparation for the dream life you’re about to walk into.
Which of your dreams are you being perfectly prepared for by what you’re going through?
What Origin story are you writing for who you will be a year from now?
P is for…Pies
Pie.
Are you spending your time fighting to get a bigger slice of “the pie”…
Or are you spending your time baking as many pies as you can imagine?
Fighting over slices…or generously baking pies?
Scrambling for crumbs…or creating many opportunities that you’re able to share with others?
Don’t fight over slices and crumbs.
Learn how to bake…and then bake your own pies (plural).
Q is for…Quantum leap
Quantum leap: a sudden highly significant advance or dramatic breakthrough.
What would it take for you to achieve your 10 year goal within the next 6 months?
That would be a Quantum leap.
Where can you see yourself being 10 years from now…and then being there within 6 months.
A different sort of thinking is required to make a Quantum leap.
What got you here won’t get you there.
But if you’ll change your thinking, then you start Quantum leaping.
R is for…Robots and regret
The robots and AI aren’t coming…they’re already here.
Slowly slowly catchy monkey.
And inch by inch AI, robots, drones, wearable technology had stealthily been taking over the mundane, repetitive and inconvenient tasks.
Quietly being integrated into the healthcare Industrial complex…gradually making the esteemed “human healthcare practitioners” less and less relevant.
And with the craziness of the COVID-19 global pandemic, “The Robots” have been tagged in to play a starring role…one that they’re unlikely to step down from.
Here are a few highlights.
Surveillance drones monitoring “social distancing”
Wearable technology to monitor patients remotely
Contact-less robots in China delivering and administering medications
And many other developments that you can check out via former-M.D Peter Diamandis’ Abundance Insider newsletter.
Again, this isn’t something that is going to happen.
It’s happening.
Right now.
Whether you believe it, agree with it or want it…or not.
And if you’re curious to see what other Medics think about this, I conducted an anonymous survey in 2019 called Doctor/Robot, asking Medics the question:
If we’ve got AI and robots, why do we need human doctors?
You can check out the results by clicking here.
The bad news is that for the many Medics who insist on trying to survive or beat the healthcare system, they are in for a rude awakening.
A rude awakening on a par with:
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Horse and buggy operators vs Henry Ford
-
Kodak vs Digital cameras
-
Blockbuster vs Netflix
They all thought it would never happen to them…being made redundant…until it did.
And they were all left with 2 painful words:
If only…
If only we’d acted sooner.
If only I’d taken the chance.
If only I’d listened to my instincts instead of to my parents.
If only.
Those 2 words are more painful than you might appreciate right now.
Jeff Bezos recommends using a “regret minimization framework” to counteract being caught out by these 2 words.
Here it is in Jeff’s own words:
The framework I found, which made the decision incredibly easy, was what I called — which only a nerd would call — a “regret minimization framework.” So I wanted to project myself forward to age 80 and say, “Okay, now I’m looking back on my life. I want to have minimized the number of regrets I have.”
I knew that when I was 80 I was not going to regret having tried this. I was not going to regret trying to participate in this thing called the Internet that I thought was going to be a really big deal. I knew that if I failed I wouldn’t regret that, but I knew the one thing I might regret is not ever having tried. I knew that that would haunt me every day, and so, when I thought about it that way it was an incredibly easy decision. — Jeff Bezos
And as a bonus, here’s a video sharing Life regrets from 100+ year olds.
There are all sorts of threats around you…COVID-19, robots/AI, etc…most of which are outside your control.
But one thing you can control is the decision to live a life of no regrets.
No regrets, no matter what.
That decision is something the robots can’t take away from you…unless you choose not to make it.
S is for…Scripts (invisible), Strategies (war) and Systems
#Scripts. Invisible scripts.
Invisible scripts are truths so ubiquitous and deeply embedded in society that we don’t even realize they’re guiding our attitudes and behavior. Like water to a fish, they surround us even if we don’t know it.
#Strategies (war).
To pursue a life where you live, long and prosper, is to declare war on the status quo.
And to win any war, you need to think beyond the immediate battles you’re facing, and think strategically.
What strategies can you use to win your war against the status quo?
Here are some via author Robert Greene’s The 33 Strategies of War (highly recommended!):
#Systems.
Once you’ve identified the invisible scripts that are holding you back, and crafted a strategy for winning the war in your own life…you need to build systems that help you achieve your goals.
Here’s Ramit Sethi again on systems:
Picture of pyramid from article
Look, productivity isn’t about “motivation.” If you think it is, you’ve already lost.
Productivity is about understanding what you really want to do, then building systems to make it work for you. The goal isn’t Inbox Zero…Your goal is to enable yourself to perform at your very best, every day, and over the course of weeks and months and years.
Here’s more on systems from James Clear, author of the excellent Atomic Habits (or as my kids call it, Atomic Rabbits!):
Image: JamesClear.com
What’s the difference between goals and systems?
If you’re a coach, your goal is to win a championship. Your system is what your team does at practice each day.
If you’re a writer, your goal is to write a book. Your system is the writing schedule that you follow each week.
If you’re a runner, your goal is to run a marathon. Your system is your training schedule for the month.
If you’re an entrepreneur, your goal is to build a million dollar business. Your system is your sales and marketing process.
Now for the really interesting question:
If you completely ignored your goals and focused only on your system, would you still get results?
For example, if you were a basketball coach and you ignored your goal to win a championship and focused only on what your team does at practice each day, would you still get results?
I think you would…
And here’s an insight from Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert via the brilliant Productivity Game YouTube channel:
Identify the invisible scripts that are holding you back.
Think like a military strategist in waging war against the status quo.
Design systems that help you achieve your goals.
T is for…Time
Whatever masters your time will master your life.
Which is why you need to read and absorb Laura Vanderkam’s book: 168 hours.
Here’s a critical insight at the heart of the book:
“We don’t build the lives we want by saving time. We build the lives we want, and then time saves itself.”
And this insight is driven by a simple but powerful premise:
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A lifetime, if calculated from week to week, “is simply 168 hours, repeated again and again.”
-
You have 168 hours every week
-
You have more time than you think
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Subtract 56 weekly sleeping hours (eight a night) and 50 for work, and you still have 62 unscheduled hours each week
You can watch the author unpackage this in her TedTalk below.
You have 168 hours each week. You have more time than you have been led to believe.
And using your 168 hours to build a life full of joie de vivre…cheerful enjoyment…is the basic right of every human being.
Including Medics.
Reclaim the basic human right to control your time.
You have 168 hours.
Use them to build a life you would be thrilled to have lived.
U is for…Upstream
A few months before getting kicked out of medical school in 2003, I attended a dull lecture that transformed my life and ended any aspirations for a career in medicine.
It was a sociology lecture. And right in the middle of lulling a lecture hall of about 200 medical students to sleep, my Sociology Prof suddenly grabbed me out of my seat with an analogy about a river.
“What it comes down to is a choice. You can choose to be the noble doctor who spends the next sixty years fishing the same drowning patients out of the same old river, day in, day out. Or, you can choose to be the one who leaves the river bank and heads upstream to stop whoever is pushing your patients into the river in the first place.”
Wow!
Here was the answer to the growing discontent I’d been feeling over the first few years of medical study. I’d signed up with the desire to change the world but was being trained in the ‘best practices of managing illness and disease’. But now, with my Sociology Professor’s brilliant analogy, I knew what my next move had to be: I was going to head upstream, whatever that looked like.
So when I was thrown out of medical school a few months later, with no qualifications, the weight of having let my family and friends down, and a tonne of student debt, I got a job at a local doctor’s practice.
Officially I was there to read through 7,350 patient records and summarise them onto a computer so that the Practice could claim money from the Government. And for a while I simply did my job, innovating every chance I got, including finding a loophole in the Government contract within my first few weeks that let the Practice claim a few thousand pounds of money overnight.
And as long as I was pushing the boundaries within doing my job, things went well.
But the moments I attempted to head “upstream”, the responses ranged from apathy, to slight concern to angry emails from doctors and a phone-call from a ruffled local member of government.
I found the same in the worlds of freelancing, church, street-selling products for a Hollywood makeup artist, talking to people down at the unemployment office during the years of taking care of a wife and three kids on benefits…
Do your job/stay in line = fine.
Try to change the world/Head upstream = frustration of trying to empty an ocean with a tea cup.
In other words, they — critics, neighbours, family, friends, nemeses — were right.
You can’t change the world, because the world doesn’t want to be changed.
Which is when I had an epiphany.
Even though most of my efforts to ‘change the world’ had been shot down in flames,there was one thing that actually consistently was a resounding success.
The Conversations and Salvador Dali
Every time I’d found myself having a Conversation with someone about what they really cared about, what they were working on, what they felt their God-given reason for being alive was…I’d been able to encourage them, goad them, and in a small way push them to keep doing what they already knew they needed to do…despite what they said.
The Conversations. Intimate one on one interactions. Encouraging those who were already “heading upstream” to build something important…without a marked out path or readily available resources for doing it.
The Conversations. Exchanging ideas and perspectives. Celebrating the tiny milestones that they simply branded as “pointless wastes of time”.
The Conversations. Earning the right to be invited into Conversations with those who were already fumbling to figure out how to make bricks without straw for the dreams they were building into reality.
That’s what I was supposed to do. That’s where I could do my Work of encouraging those who were building the future.
So I entered the world of marketing as a way of being invited into the Conversations going on in the world of business and entrepreneurship.
So I became a Bass player to help find the groove of the Conversations going on in various jam sessions.
So I became a husband and father to be able to have an influence on the Conversations of my kids and grandkids (inspiring others to do the same).
So I launched a project called Paperback Junkie (#FAIL) as a way of having Conversations around the books that had shaped my thinking and given me the raw material for building my dreams.
So I started a blog called Save Dali (#FAIL) that has no comments, no Salvador Dali, and a simple desire to spark a Conversation with someone who’s already doing the Work of making bricks without straw.
And so I decided to start a project called Okay Doctor to help find the others…the Medics… who are also trying to figure out how to head upstream.
You’re still reading, so I guess that means I’ve found you.
Email me. Let’s talk. And above all, keep doing what you’re doing…we need you to.
V is for…Vegas
Just one more.
Those 3 words are the engine that powers every industry that’s built around addiction.
Slot machines in Las Vegas, Big Tobacco, soft porn, food porn, alcohol, drugs, social media, the job industry…
The goal isn’t to sell you on becoming an addict. Nobody would take that deal.
Instead, it’s to sell you on buying “just one more” ticket…”just one more” drink/cigarette/video/minute checking out your friends updates on Facebook.
Just one more.
And once you’ve bought enough “just one mores”…you end up with a habit where you stop counting the number of times…because it’s now part of your identity.
When you hear “but you’ve only got 1 year left”, the implication is that once you complete the year…that’s it. Game over. You’ve completed the course and you’re free to do whatever you want.
Sadly, that’s not the case.
Just one more year of medical school…followed by just one more year till you finish your residency…followed by just one more year to get your postgraduate…followed by just one more year till you save enough money to pay for your new baby…followed by just one more exam to gain a special certification…
Meanwhile, the elastic band of your sanity and emotional equilibrium is being stretched ever more…until one day you suddenly snap.
It’s the line from Hotel California:
You can check out anytime you like/But you can ne-ver leave.
The good news is that you can leave…and there are some really practical steps you can take to make your escape a reality.
But it starts by understanding what’s really going on when you hear the phrase “but you’ve only got 1 year left”.
Because even rubber bands have their breaking point. And when you sense you’ve reached yours…stop, and consider alternative options.
Don’t just quit, because there’s a smart way to do it.
But do understand that in Medicine (&Vegas et al)…there’s no such thing as “just one more”.
W is for…Warfare
Remember the 33 strategies of war.
Remember that you’re not being silly, you’re not naive, and you’re not just dealing with burnout.
You’re living under an oppressive, sometimes benevolent dictator called Medicine.
He treats you well as long as you do what he says.
He only hits you when he’s drunk (or frustrated or being incompetent).
And should you dare step out of line, you’ll find yourself battered, bruised…and he’ll be celebrated for rescuing you.
She fell down the stairs…she walked into a door…lucky thing I was there to rescue her.
That’s the kind of invisible war you’re fighting.
And contrary to what you’ve been led to believe, this is a war you were designed to win.
And if you keep on fighting…you will win.
X is for…X-men
A team of mutant superheroes born with superhuman abilities activated by the X-gene.
A fitting metaphor for what it means to be a Medic.
For what it means to be you.
You don’t fit in.
You are a mutant.
Your odd unique differences are the source of your superpowers.
Embrace them.
And then use them to help someone else.
Y is for…Yes
Yes.
Yes, you can.
Yes, you are more amazing than you’ve been led to believe.
Yes, you were born to live, long and prosper.
Yes, your life is of tremendous value.
Yes, we would miss you if you were gone.
You don’t need anyone’s permission to be the person you already know you are.
But just in case you’re looking for it…here it is.
Yes, you can.
Z is for…Zag
When everyone zigs…zag.
When everyone holds back…push forward.
When everyone worries about their jobs…start a business.
When everyone waits for permission…take the lead.
When everyone stops…go.
When everyone goes…stop.
Because everyone is usually wrong, one of the smartest things you can do is to do the opposite of everyone.
When everyone zigs…zag.